The Outside of Ever Awaits You...

As I sit around this old office building, wondering if I will ever get out of this small town. In my youth it was all I had ever dreamed about, it is all I ever dream about now. Freedom. Independence. It’s all I have ever needed to feel alive, all I ever wanted in my life and love. But, that’s a different story; love.

I wake up in the morning of the bright light, wondering what I am still doing here. It is not nightmares that stray me from my sleep. It is thought of no escape that drifts me away from the rest and peace. I sigh at the clock and turn to my pillow, what more can a heart take when it is stuck in this rut; a dirty rut with no passage ways of exit. Plans I have and plans I keep, I look forward to the future, because after all it is all we have to look forward too. Wouldn’t you agree? Sometimes at late at night I do not wish to sleep or slumber, I wish to close my eyes and dream of the possibilities. Snow falls outside my weary window, the wind breaks my train of thoughts, the outside of ever awaits my sleepy toes, my journey to begin. Times have changed and bones are breaking, the Winter’s are colder and my nights get longer. The imagination of my dreams no longer lingers on the borderline of my dozing conscious, nay I say; they are but free and vividly alive. They jump on my walls and hop on the fence; I smile at their childish games. I spend time wondering what they want, why they have come out of hiding to amuse me and mingle with the narcotic temperature. I let my thoughts take me and let they rush back to me, I am asleep once again, no room for breathing. Trees crackle at my doorstep, as natural animals take their course. They plead with me, oh darling they say. Wake up today and come out and play. If only for just one minute, if only for just one hour, I may take the course and follow their foot prints, and then maybe I will learn once again how to sprint, freely.

-S.M. Bjarnson